婚姻幽默真是经典啊

夫：没作什麼。Wife : Nothing...? Youve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.妻：没作什麼？你看著我们的结婚证 书，足足有一小时了。Husband : I was looking for the expiry date.夫：我在寻找它的有效日期是到什麼时 候。 Wife : Do you want dinner?妻： 要吃晚餐吗？Husband : Sure! What are my choices?夫： 当然！我可以选择吗？Wife : Yes or no.妻：要或不要。 Wife: You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?妻：为什麼你经常把我的照片放在你皮 夹里？Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.夫：当问题发生时，不管有多困难，我 看著你照片就迎刃而解了。Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you!妻：你看我对你有多麼惊人的影响力 啊！Hubby: Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?夫：是啊！望著你的照片我问自己，还 有什麼困难比这个来得大呢？ Stress Reliever Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.女孩：婚后我要分担你所有的烦恼、困 扰，以减轻你的负担。Boy: Its very kind of you, darling, but I dont have any worries or troubles.男孩：亲爱的，你真体贴，但我并没有 任何烦恼或困扰。Girl: Well thats because we arent married yet.女孩：哦？那是因为我们还没结婚的缘 故。 Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.子：今早我和爹地一起搭车，他要我让 座给一位女士。Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.母：嗯，你这麼做是对的。Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddys lap.子：但是，妈，我当时是坐在爹地的腿 上呢。 A newly married man asked his wife, Would you have married me if my father hadnt left me a fortune?一位新婚的先生问他太太：如果我父亲 没留下巨额财产给我，你会嫁给我吗？Honey, the woman replied sweetly, Id have married you, N O MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!女人温柔的答道：亲爱的，不管是谁留 下财产给你，我都会嫁给你的。 Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and Ill be yours forever .女孩对著男友说：吻我一下，我就永远 属於你了。The guy replies: Thanks for the early warning.男孩回道：谢谢您提早警告我。 A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?妻问夫：你最喜欢我哪一点？我美丽的 脸庞，还是我性感的躯体？He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humor.他把她从头到脚浏览了一遍，回道：我 喜欢你的幽默感。